True Story Tuesday

This new blog carnival is hosted by my fabulous friend, Rachel at Once Upon A Miracle. I missed the premiere edition last week which I sorely regret and I'm sliding in L.A.T.E. on this week's. But better late than never! We'll just dub this one "True Story Tuesday on Thursday."

So the premise of this carnival is to share a true (or mostly true) story for everyone to enjoy. It can be something you've previously posted or an all new funny story.

My true story for today is resurfacing from 2 years ago and was actually brought to mind when my bloggy friend, Emily, over at Powell Power, posted a similar incident recently. All of those horridly, crazy memories came flashing back and what better time and place to get them documented for posterity then on the family blog for... True Story Tuesday.

Picture this~Your hubby has just left town pulling a camper heading for a long, boys only weekend. You are oh so jealous happy for him to have that time to get away and drink, fart, eat only grilled meats, barely shower and in general, cut loose recharge his battery while you stay home single parenting all the while plucking most of the hairs out of your head~One.By.One caring for your wild adorable ape-ish acting sweet little girls. (I am not bitter at all even though I've NEVER had so much as a girls only night away. Not bitter at all. Nope, not me!) He is not 30 minutes away and the girls alert me to some strange noise coming from Ellis' closet. I will tell you now that we live in an old house and have been known to hear strange noises in the attic. The birds around here appear to see our attic as more of a rookery than extra storage space.

I carefully crack the door and all I heard and saw was the swooshing of wings and some not so nice bird language. Problem was (besides the 2 "helpers" I had under foot?) the only male species residing in our humble abode was miles away from the apparent aviary previously known as Ellis' closet. I did what any wife would do. I called my husband and told him to come back and get the thing out.

This was the point he nearly ran off the road laughing hysterically. Me? Not thinking it's all that funny! His suggestion was to get a broom and open the closet. What? Not such a good idea since I thought it impossible to chase said bird from the closet and all the way downstairs and out the door. Remember the old house part? The windows are all painted shut so I can't just open a window and shoo it out.

What did ensue went something like this...

This bird was ticked! Oh, and so was it's mate! Oh, and so were the babies! Well, they were really just scared to death. Yes, FOUR birds! Since I couldn't leave them in the closet til Mark got back, they had to be extracted. Apparently, the babies had fallen down some big vent in our upstairs heat/air unit that is adjacent to the closet. Mama and Papa Bird hear the cries and swoop in to save babies. Only problem is the babies can't fly. Mama and Papa Bird go crazy and make their way out a small opening into the closet were they promptly stress and crap all over my child's clothing.

Many stressful minutes lapse with me chasing this darn bird around the room trying to throw a sheet over it all while not getting pooped on. No dice. It's flying all over and freaking me out. I have the blinds up and have just about gotten it rangled in the front windows of our house when my friend Kim drives up and spots me plastered to the glass. Thankfully she has the bright idea to get a handheld fishing net from my neighbor's boat and catch it that way. Bird #1, captured and released. Bird #2 didn't get much flying time but suffered a similar, painless fate. My sweet friend then shimmied her long, skinny arm way back into my air conditioner and brought out the 2 babies. Holy Cow! She took the babies home and that was that. Then I had to go sort through all of Ellis' clothes and start the tedious job of stain fighting bird poop. Who knew you could get dive bombed in your own home.

I wish I had had it all on video because it would have been a side-splitter for sure. My children still talk about those stinkin' birds!

This was really fun. So… please join along! Share a link to your post about anything amazing, outrageous, hilarious, embarrassing, or miraculous, and mostly-true that has happened to you!

Make sure you hop over to Rachel's place and check out all of the other true stories.